PHP

a real language or just an illusion?

Most of you probably have heard about php already, or so you think. My theory is, that php is in fact NOT real!!

Why it isnt real:

here I will go over on why php isnt real

please note that those reasons arent subjective opinions, but facts.

Have you ever seen php code? I certanly haven't
I have also never met a real PHP programmer, now you might say you're one, well then... you just arent real either :)
Every website I've been on doesn't use php! It either uses html, css or javascript but not php!
We also cannot verify that files that have the .php extension actually are php code, as the source is not visible(see point 1)
PHP would cause a lot of security vulnerabilities, no one would create a language with that many vulnerabilities

Why people might say php actually is real:

Some people might say php is actually real

which is completely fine, we all have those moments in our life

I code in php!
my answer: You arent real either then.

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Why only one argument that it is real?

Because there are no other arguments, further proving php isnt real

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But what about the software made for it?

The Software is made to make people believe php is real, as people could go insane when they find out php is not real

So all the governments around the world hired some companies to make software for php, like phpstorm, to make people believe it is real and prevent people from going insane

php.net

the existence of php is a good lie, hence people who know about it made a website for it so people think it is real

also, the php website has random pictures of elephant plushies at the bottom, this only screams "hey, we aren't real"

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axtlos is always wrong

no im not! I'm wrong most of the time, which isnt this time!

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You can dig up old photos of php code form like 2010

We're talking about 2010, I think everyone knows what a year 2010 was.

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The php source is on github!

It infact, is not! The "php interpreter" is there, but not php itself, and everyone can make an interpreter for anything, this doesnt mean it needs to exist!

Code exmple

So apparently this is how php code looks:

<?php echo"Hello World, I'm not real";?>

Doesn't this look similiar?

It should, because its just html!

Since php doesnt even seem to have its own syntax, its not real

Conclusion

PHP just isnt real

You are lying if you say you code in php

If you say its real then you are smooth brain!

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Update (idk the date, 2022)

After seeing the php "mascot"(something not real can't have a mascot)(which is really cute btw) I have concluded that php is partially real, meaning that the first p is real, the rest is still a lie!

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Goodbye and thanks for reading :)

This is a joke btw, you can use php if you like it

Thanks to ibzan for giving me reasons on why php is real and helping me expand this